We've all had toxic relationships and friendships at some point in our lives. The first thing to keep in mind is that nobody's perfect when it comes to maintaining and nurturing friendships. If only there were a manual with instructions on how to be the perfect friend, but clearly there isn't. There will always be times when one person is kinder and more supportive than the other, someone forgets a birthday, or one of you has a self-centered episode. But there's a big difference between overcoming a hurdle in a friendship and being in one that's considered toxic.

"Toxic friendships drain energy instead of renewing it," says Suzanne Degges-White, professor and director of the Counseling Department at Northern Illinois University. "In these kinds of relationships, you're likely to feel worse after spending time together, instead of feeling better." However, it's not always easy to recognize a toxic friendship when you're in the midst of it. If you find yourself in this situation, keep reading for expert advice on how to identify a toxic friendship and how to manage it.

First, pay attention to the signs the universe gives you. Start by noticing how you feel in your friendships. "If someone makes you feel emotionally (and sometimes physically) drained, that could be a warning sign," says therapist and leadership coach Karina Aybar-Jacobs. This might look like making you feel guilty for not wanting to do something, demanding a lot of support without giving anything back, ignoring your boundaries, or getting upset when you have other priorities (gaslighting).

"Toxic friends seem to have the need to make others feel as bad as they feel inside," says Degges-White. If a friend competes with you over professional goals or romantic interests, or even spreads rumors about you, think about why they might be doing that. If you've noticed this kind of behavior consistently, regardless of what's going on in your friend's life, it could be a sign of toxicity. But if the actions seem to be isolated incidents and your friend has apologized or is going through a tough time, it might just be a one-off.

When that friend invites you out and you immediately start making excuses not to go, it's a good idea to think about why that is happening. If any of the signs of toxicity we mentioned earlier come to mind, it's time to address those issues and think about how you want the relationship to continue.

If you want to keep being friends with that person, the best thing to do is have an honest conversation about what's bothering you. Degges-White suggests something like: "I need to talk to you about something important. When's a good time for us to meet?" Choose a neutral place, like a park or a café, so neither of you feels at a disadvantage.When you meet, Degges-White recommends emphasizing that you value the friendship and want to move forward, but that there are things that need to change.

Don't forget to listen to what they have to say too. They may have been going through a difficult time in other areas of their life and acted that way without realizing it. Or maybe they were hurt by something you did or said and you didn't even realize it. Be open to what they have to say, but maintain your boundaries and respect. "What you see and believe is your reality, but the same is true for your friend," says Degges-White.

Ideally, you should reach an agreement where meaningful apologies are exchanged, animosity is set aside, and you both agree to start anew. At the end of the meeting, make a concrete plan to meet again in a few weeks after you've had time to reflect on the conversation and your hopes for a fresh start. For your next outing, try something that feels celebratory and intimate, like dinner at your favorite restaurant or an activity you've always enjoyed together.

Sometimes, it's okay to let go of friendships that feel too destructive to continue. "If a friend consistently makes us feel bad, or evokes horrible feelings, don't just dream of escape," says psychologist Harriet Lerner, author of "The Dance of Anger." "Get out."Even though it might seem difficult, it's time to start a breakup conversation. 

First, write down the points you want to address so you can leave the meeting knowing you've said everything you needed to say. Then, ask this friend to meet in a neutral location and when you see them, "don't blame," says Degges-White. Instead, explain that you need to take some time apart because of how you feel or how things are going in your life. If they insist, you can reiterate your boundaries and explain that the space you're asking for is really important.

Talking through the dissolution of the friendship can make you feel more confident in your decision and more prepared to move on. Sit down with a trusted friend or family member who doesn't have a personal connection to your toxic friend and talk through your feelings. (Just try not to let it turn into an unkind gossiping session). They'll remind you that you're loved and deserve fulfilling friendships in your life.Even after you've separated yourself from a toxic friendship, it can be difficult to find new friends you feel you can trust. It's okay to take time to mourn the loss of the friendship in the same way you might mourn the loss of a romantic partner. When you feel ready to find new people to spend time with, try doing it intentionally by downloading LocoVoco or joining a class where you might meet like-minded people.